Going Home.

My mom had a horrible night last night (Monday night). She was in so much pain. It was unbearable to watch. She was vomiting and nauseated and could not get comfortable. Today, the CT scan results are not good. It seems that her liver is retracted, her colon burst, a bowel obstruction, pneumonia in both lungs and a few more things I cannot think of right now. Her chance of survival with surgery is less than 5% with all of these things against her. They are keeping her comfortable with morphine. She seems to be resting. Her breathing is labored already. We don't know how long it will be. I came home for a shower, but am heading back to spend the night.

Please pray that she goes peacefully and with no pain. This morning she told me that if she dies today she will be in Heaven. I am praying for a great homecoming for her with her Savior and all her loved ones who have gone before her - my dad, her parents and many siblings. What a rejoicing there will be. I am so thankful I have had her all these years. I am blessed.

Waiting...

Today I woke up with a powerful migraine. Maybe I'm stressed out? Anyway, Steve (my brother) went over to the hospital this morning to speak with the doctor. He ended up talking to the Nurse Practioner (same one as last stay) and then I went over a little later and spoke with her. According to the report from x-ray, there is a good possibility there is a partial bowel obstuction. They are treating Mama with IV medication for 24 hours and nothing by mouth to rest her bowels.

So....sometime tomorrow we will re-evaulate. They'll see what the medication does and probably do a CT scan of her abdomen. If there is a an obstruction, surgery is the only way to correct it. Can she endure or survive another surgery? And, if we don't do surgery? She will die for sure.

So, we are waiting and trusting and most of all praying for comfort for our Mama, for God's wisdom for us in the decisions ahead.

Hospital again.

My mom had to go back into the hospital today. She was throwing up green bile and they sent her to the ER. The ER doctor told us (after x-ray) that she could have bowel ileus (slow working of the bowels) or bowel obstruction. They admitted her, started IV fluids and did a lot of bloodwork. Finally, after 8 hours in the ER, she was sent to a room. She was resting when I left her. Please pray that there is no bowel obstruction - that would mean surgery and I don't know that she can endure another one. Still....God is so good. He is in control. I trust Him.

Summing it up...

Since today is Friday, I'm gonna do a little recap of my week:

Sunday started the not so good with my Mama having a bad day. As the week went on...she improved and was able to be discharged from the hospital. She's had 2 really great days back at the nursing home and I am so thankful!!! She seems more like her old self! Even her speech is back! GOD is GREAT!!!

I've been a little stressed this week with all that has gone on with Mama plus Olivia is testing her boundaries (BIG TIME). I am praying that I handle her with wisdom and in a way that is pleasing to God. Brad and I have punished her, talked to her, read her scripture, prayed with her, prayed for her, prayed for ourselves.... Pray with us that we can get through this season soon!!!!

Olivia started an acting workshop at Foothills Playhouse this week. It's a 2 week workshop from 9am-12 noon. She LOVES it!!! (Thanks, Mimi!) Hopefully, having something to do everyday will help her.

Caroline loved going with me to see Mama at the hospital. She went with me twice this week and was so cute! She filled her purse up with a few toys and put her little purse on her shoulder and carried it into the hosptial. She thought she was such a big girl!! Olivia did not want to go the hospital. I think she was anxious...I'm sure she heard some of my conversations with Brad.

Yesterday, I put a little sundress on Caroline and she said, "I Cinderella, Mommy". Precious.

I am ready for the weekend....no hospital...Brad won't be working. God doesn't give you more than you can handle, right? God is so good. He's so good to me.

So far, so good.

Mama had a good night last night and a good day today. I went over at lunch and took her a Frosty. She drank the whole thing! This is BIG! She also ate a piece of bread. And....she knew I was Karen! Things are looking up!

Thank you so much for all the prayers. I know that God heard them and answered them according to His perfect will! I am so thankful! Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!! How I love Him more and more!!!

Home!

Well, finally....Mama was discharged today. She had a great day! All of her levels were good. She was awake and in good spirits - laughing and talking! It was so good to see her like that after all these bad days!

She finally got back to the nursing home around 5pm. Her sweet roommate, Helen has missed her so much! As soon as she saw Mama she started crying (she's always laughing or crying). I asked her if it was a happy cry and she just nodded. Sweet. I said to Mama, "Miss Helen is glad to see you, Mama". Mama said, "I'd be glad to see her too if I knew who she was." Hilarious! I guess "out of sight out of mind", huh?

What is interesting to me is that my mama has called me Karen the whole time she's been in the hospital. 12 long days! She is usually more confused if she is in the hospital or out of her normal routine. Not only did she call me Karen, she knew I was her daughter and Caroline is her granddaughter. She also knew Steve was her son and she usually thinks he's her brother. Even through all the ups and downs, I take this as a gift. Tomorrow, I may go and be right back to being Adell (her sister), but this time that she has known me has been sweet.

God is so good. He's so good to me.

Hopeful...

It looks like tomorrow may be the discharge day! I am hopeful, but realistic. They have been telling me maybe tomorrow for about 3 days now.

Mama seems to be doing better. She's sleeping a lot and very weak. She is not eating much at all and not able to really keep in what she eats and drinks. Her stool tested negative for bacteria. Her potassium is still low and they are giving her that via IV today. She has gone down to 3 liters of oxygen. She was tearful this afternoon.

So....tomorrow is another day. We'll see what happens. God is in control. He knows what is going to happen already and I trust Him.

Thank you for praying.

The good, the bad, and the yucky.

Well, I am back from the hospital and my head is spinning.

Mama has not thrown up since this morning. Good. She has diarrhea. Bad. She is talking and more alert. Good. She doesn't want to eat. Bad. She DID eat a little chocolate pudding. Good. They thought she could have a blood clot. Bad. They determined that she doesn't have a blood clot. Good. WHEW!!!!!

Yesterday, I went in and the nurse told me the doctor (different one) had been in and Mama has pneumonia. She was on the oxygen mask with 10 liters of oxygen. She had diarrhea yesterday. She slept most of the day. Her breathing was labored. I talked with the nursing home and they said they could hold her bed until Sunday (tomorrow). We can private pay to hold the bed.

Today, Mama threw up this morning, but is alert and talking. She still has diarrhea. She coughed one time and told me "I think I sh-- in my pants". Bless her heart. The nurse practioner came in and talked to me. She told me she doesn't think it's pneumonia. She thinks it could be a blood clot. So...they send her down for a CT scan and told me we may not have results until tomorrow. After I came home, the NP called me and they have the results already....NO blood clot. She said there are pockets of fluid in her lower lung that could be pneumonia. She is already on antiobiotics for pneumonia. They have weaned her down to the nasal cannula with 5 liters of oxygen. They are starting her on oral meds tonight. All of this is good news! She may be discharged tomorrow or Monday.

WHEW! God is good and faithful. I want to be positive and believe things are getting better, but it seems like just when I start to believe - the rug is pulled out from under me! I am going to be positive, though - believing and praying for God's healing.

God is so good. He's so good to me.

Pneumonia

What a difference a day can make. Yesterday was much different from the day before. Mama has developed pneumonia. Her potassium is low. She is also on a full oxygen mask with 10 liters of oxygen. She is taking such big breaths. She slept most of the day yesterday. She had no energy. However, when she talked, it was clear. She asked me, "What is the matter with me?" She also called me Karen. I asked her who I am to her and she said "You're my daughter and I love you." That was a sweet thing to hear.

I just called to check on her and her nurse said she is not good. She is throwing up bile now because she has nothing else in her stomach to throw up. I'm getting ready to head over there.

Please keep praying for her comfort most of all.

Getting better...

I call first thing every morning to check on Mama. This morning they told me that she threw up during the night last night. I was horrified when they told me - thinking how Mama would not know what button to push to call for help! I fretted over how she would have lain there icky and sick for who knows how long!!!! I fretted that she could have aspirated!! I fretted that she was scared!! But...God calmed my fears and my anxiety. I spoke with the Nurse Practioner when I got there today and she told me that they did a chest x-ray and Mama did not aspirate. They are planning to send her home tomorrow or Saturday. If she is not back at the nursing home by Sunday, she will lose her bed there. This would be a terrible thing! Her nursing home is 10 minutes from my house and beds are so hard to find closeby! We could end up with a bed in NC!

So, today, Mama sat up in the chair for a while. She even ate a little pudding and chicken broth for me! She coughed up a bunch of junk (this is a good thing, as she has not been strong enough to cough since the surgery). And guess what else???? Her speech was a LOT better!!! I could understand much of what she was saying today. I am so thankful! I took Caroline with me today and Mama told the nurse (a little slurred) that was her grandbaby.

Thank you again for all of your prayers!!! Please continue to pray that she will be strong enough to be discharged in the next few days.

I am still encouraged. God is my ROCK. I will cast all my cares on Him!

A New Day

So...today seems a little better. Mama's blood pressure has stayed up for a couple of days now. Her temp actually went all the way down to 98.6 this morning. It was up to 100.7 by the afternoon. She was very restless and trying to talk when I first got to the hospital today. She seems to calm down with me there. The nurse even commented on it. I'm sure she is confused and it helps to see a familiar face. Very clearly today she said "When are you coming back?" as I was leaving. Other words were jumbled, but I am encouraged.

I appreciate so much all the words of encouragement, thoughts, prayers, comments and offers to help from so many! You will never know how much it means to have such support.

Keep praying! Mama is strong. God is faithful. And through it all.....I am blessed!

Me and Mama

This picture was taken on Mother's Day 2009.

Ups and Downs

My mom is in the hospital. Some of you know that. She was admitted Thursday night (or more like Friday morning). She was throwing up blood. She's 84. She's tough. You already know that. I hope she can hang tough now.

My brother and I left the hospital Friday morning after they told us that Mama probably had a bleeding ulcer and they were going to treat her for that. Her xray looked clear - no air pockets (which means a rupture). Then, the nurse calls me at 9:00 a.m and tells me that the doctor wants to do emergency surgery! WHAT??? I talked with the doctor on the phone and he told me that there were risks for surgery - pneumonia, stroke, bleeding, etc. But, if he didn't operate, she would die. They did surgery and found NO ruptures!! Her stomach was full of blood and the doctor said it was probably a bleeding ulcer. It was hard to know how to feel. Of course, we were happy there were no ruptures, but our sweet 84 year old mother had to go through a risky abdominal surgery!!!

She spent 2 nights in CCU and during that time her oxygen level went down and they couldn't get it back up until they used a mask. Her blood pressure stayed very low. They had a tube in her stomach pumping out blood. They kept sticking her (and bruising her) for IV sights.

On Sunday morning, they moved her to a regular room. I thought things were getting better. On Sunday afternoon, she spiked a temp of nearly 103 and her blood pressure kept staying low. Her hemoglobin dropped very low and they gave her 2 units of blood.

On Monday morning, I talked with the nurse practicioner who told that she could be in congestive heart failure and to prepare myself. They ordered a chest xray. I also noticed that her right hand was curled and she was having trouble talking. I believe she has had a stroke. The nurse practicioner agreed but said that nothing could be done.

Today, the chest xray showed a little fluid behind her right lung but they tell me that it is not a concern. The doctor put her on clear liquids. Her blood pressure is up. Her temp is hovering around 100.7. The N.P. said we'll just take it one day at a time.

So....we are taking this one day at a time...the ups and the downs. I'm spinning. Sometimes my head feels like it is going to explode. My mama was asking for Karen today. I was right beside her. The nurse told me that Mama said "Kiss my a--" very clearly when she was bathing her. Cussing is always a good sign, right? :-)

Please pray for my mama. Pray God's comfort for her no matter what.

Storms

It stormed here Thursday night. It was right at bedtime. Thankfully, Caroline was already asleep. Olivia was just about to get into bed and it started. It was thundering so loud! Lightning seemed so close! We snuggled up together in her bed. She wanted me to comfort her because she was scared of the storm. We prayed. I got up to check on something and came back and she was asleep. God gave her peace to go to sleep. She knew she was safe - her mommy was close and her Heavenly Father was right there with her.

Late Friday afternoon, I went out on the deck and a huge pine tree was laying across our back yard! I didn't hear it fall. It was right behind the girls' rooms. Right off I started thinking of all the things I was thankful for: the tree was not near enough to the house that it would hit the girls' rooms. It didn't hit the deck or the swing set. None of the trees that are near the dog kennel fell onto our precious dog, Daisy. God protected our children, our home, and our dog. God is our refuge.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though it's waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging". Psalm 46:1-3

I've been thinking on this verse since Friday night. God is our protector. He's our source. He's our refuge. He's our Father, our Savior, our Lord, our strength, and our constant companion. Isn't it great how we can talk to Him anytime? He's always listening. Olivia knows this already.

She scraped her knee really hard last week. She asked me almost every day to pray for her knee. She asked me to pray the night of the storm. Friday afternoon, we were at a ladies house trying on a dress (dresses being made for my nieces wedding) and it started storming. We don't know this lady very well. This was only the 2nd or 3rd time we have met her and Olivia asked me to pray about the storm. I don't know if the lady is a believer or what she thought, but I prayed with Olivia right then. Olivia didn't hesistate to ask me to pray. She knows that God is our source. She knows that we can pray about anything anywhere. I want to be more like Olivia.

God is our refuge. He calms the storms....not just thunderstorms...but all the storms in our lives: financial problems, jobs, family, sickness, addictions - everything. He is our shelter. He is our strength. I want to talk to him more - just like Olivia.