Summer is slipping by. I feel like I haven't really had a summer....not the summer I had planned anyway. I had great plans for this summer. I was going to paint my living room, bedroom, hallway and hall bath. I was going to take my girls to a pool somewhere at least once a week. We were going to see every free summer movie. I was going to get all of my ducks in a row for homeschooling. I was going to CLEAN OUT stuff. So far.....none of that has been accomplished. Instead, I spent many hours at the bedside of my precious mama. I wouldn't trade that time for anything.
I miss her so much - I ache. I see people going on with their lives...talking about things and doing things that seem so unimportant. I think....how can they being doing/saying that....don't they know my mama is dead? But I know that is crazy thinking on my part. Of course, life goes on. The world is not gonna stop for my broken heart.
I am moving on....slowly. Today, I am cleaning my house. It's taking me awhile...it's so filthy. My mama would have a fit if she saw how nasty I've let it get. I'm packing for our trip to Charleston this weekend - our wonderful friend Tammy is getting married. I'm picking out paint colors. I'm planning movies and playdates and fun things for my girls. I'm blogging. I'm trying.
Someone told me I would never be the same. I think they are right. I feel different. My mama was my firm foundation. I can't hug her. I can't talk to her. I can't see her except in my mind or a picture. I know she knows how much I loved her. I have no regrets.
I have so many wonderful friends and family who have checked on me, fed me, sent me cards and prayed for me. I am so thankful. I have the best husband who lets me just cry. I have precious children who dry my tears. God has blessed me and He is faithful. He is with me as my heart aches. He knows me. He understands my pain. He is my peace and comfort.
"The Lord your God is with you; the mighty one will save you. You will rest in his love; he will sing and be joyful about you." Zephaniah 3:17
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment